This is the story of my pregnancy and the birth of my daughter, Calista Gabrielle.

I first found out I was pregnant the typical way... my period was late. It took me a while to actually take the home pregnancy test to prove it. I guess that it would have been just too real if I had taken the test earlier. I was thinking that I just wanted to make sure that I really was pregnant... not just late, I guess. I finally took the home pregnancy test. In fact, I took 3 of them. I think I might have been 6 weeks pregnant at that point... probably a little later. That same day, I told my parents and the rest of my immediate family.

Jeremy and I hadn't really talked about starting a family, however, every month, he'd tell my sisters that I was pregnant "this time"... even though I was very regular, every 28 days I'd get my period.

Anyways, up until then, we'd go out every weekend... dancing, playing pool, movies, etc... and, we kept on until I gave birth, just not quite as often and I stopped consuming any types of alcohol. When we did go out, we'd try to go to the places with less people and less smoke.

Well, its funny, because, not many days after I took the pregnancy tests, I started getting "morning sickness"... which, actually doesn't just occur in the mornings... I stayed nauseated and vomitted for approximately a month....fun, fun, fun.

My sister, Aimee, supplied me with various books on pregnancy and birth and with pregnancy clothes. She also gave me a dial that told you when you'd be due according to the first day of your last period. So, I figured (just like the nurse later on did) that I was due around February 14th, 1999.

One weekend, Jeremy and I went to my sister, Angele's house in Mississippi. It was that weekend when I first felt life inside of me! It was so awesome! I was lying on her sofa, it was early morning. And, I felt her heartbeat! I swear! Than, right after that, I felt a fluttering sensation! It was soooo awesome! It was then that I really felt I was pregnant. Until then, it was so weird... so unreal. I looked at my calender and figured that I was 18 weeks pregnant. It wasn't until later that I found out that women usually start feeling life inside them between 18 weeks and 20 weeks.

Well, once she started kicking, she kept kicking until she was born! She was so active! In fact, the further along I got, the more people thought I was carrying a boy!

I still hadn't gone to any type of doctor by this time. My sister, Cherie, was telling me that I should at least go to the local health unit so that I can get some prenatal vitamins and stuff... See, since Jeremy and I aren't married, I'm not on his insurance... I don't understand that, since, I am dependent on his income... Anyways...

Around my 22nd week, I finally called the health unit. I was told that I had to take a pregnancy test... I thought that was a little crazy... I mean, here I was, starting to show and feeling life all of the time and I had to prove I was pregnant... So, I went in, took the test, came back positive (naturally). They gave me prenatal vitamins and drew sooo much blood from me! They tested me for VD's and for blood type. I, of course, was totally clean and my blood type is 0-. Pretty crazy. Two of my sisters that have children have A- blood. My mom is A+ and we don't know my dad's... he must have the - ... My other sister and brother don't know their blood types yet. Jeremy's A+. So, I'm RH-.

I told the nurses at the health unit that I had planned on having a homebirth...perhaps even a waterbirth. I really wanted to give birth in the water. I think that would be so cool and less tramatic for the baby. The appeal of a homebirth began with my oldest sister. I was at the birth of her first child over 7 years ago. It was so amazing! My other sister, Cherie, also had a homebirth. Both had midwives. Well, Cherie's midwife moved out of the country :( and the other midwives that I tried to get in touch with lived over an hour away! Plus, they wanted a pretty high fee that we just couldn't afford. The lowest amount that I got was this one midwife that went to $900 just to be at the birth itself...like, I'd continue getting prenatal care at the local health unit, and she'd assist me at my birth. Well, Jeremy still thought this was too much money. But, I still wanted to have her at home. I really hadn't changed my mind, even though I had no midwife.

Around 6 weeks until the due date, perhaps only 4 weeks before, my sister, Aimee, sent me some links to various web sites. One of them that really intrigued me was Born Free by Laura Shanley. I ended up ordering a book directly from her. In the meantime, I had printed up countless amounts of information on the subject of unassisted childbirth; in fact, I put them all in a big binder, like a book. I continued to read up on this the rest of my pregnancy and decided I didn't need a midwife anyways!

Well, February 12th came around and I started feeling very gentle contractions. Being a first time mother, I was trying to get as much info as I could on what to expect... as I found out, everyones' experiences are different. At this time, Jeremy's sister and mom had come down (2 hrs away). His mom just couldn't understand why I'd want to give birth at home unassisted. She wouldn't read any of the info I had already printed up. She ended up leaving in tears around 4pm. Well, as she's pulling out of the driveway, I feel wetness running down my legs...but, not a whole bunch; but, yes, that was the ambiotic fluid coming out.

Well, it ended up that I'd be leaking for the rest of the night and up until the next evening.

That night, my contractions were 5 minutes apart. I went to sleep anyways:) The slowed down to 8 minutes apart while I slept. When I awoke in the morning, they resumed to 5 min/apart.

I kept walking around, mostly. But, my contractions were getting really hard. In that time, I had gotten into the bathtub twice and it felt really great. And, I thought, "cool, this will be great to give birth in"... But, as my contractions got more intense, I couldn't get comfortable. I tried once more to get into the tub, but, it was terrible! I felt awful! So, I got out immediately. The only positions that felt ok were lying on my side or sitting on the toilet! And, I didn't want to deliver on the toilet!!!

Also, Jeremy, my mom and my sisters, Angele and Cherie were there, my brother, Jared and his girlfriend Jessica...and, Angele's husband, Shane and the guys' friend, J.J. also. All of these people hadn't read up on unassisted childbirth. And, I wasn't able to convey all my thoughts on the subject at that time! Well, my sister, Aimee, wasn't able to be there...she was on the phone though! I really wanted her there... she had the most experience.

Aimee told Jeremy how to check for dialation (which, btw, you don't have to do if you going unassisted). The last time he checked I was 8 CM.

Towards the night, my contractions are back to back and severly intense. The most helpful advice I'd gotten was to make a low, gutteral noise from the diaphragm when I'd get a contraction. The other helpful thing was to have my lower back massaged while going through contractions.

Well, as the contractions are getting closer, back to back, my sisters are telling me that I need to push. I felt no urge to push. But, I did try. Still, no crowning. It was around this time when the fire broke out! Yes!!! While we had the lights off, and candles lit and classical music playing for mood, one of the dry flower arrangements caught on fire!!! Right behind me!!!

Still, no comfortable position...feeling distressed because I didn't feel the urge to push and others telling me I needed to, and I had stopped leaking ambiotic fluid a few hours earlier, and, I had been having contractions for over 24 hours....

I gave in and went to the hospital. I had already pre-registered but didn't have my papers from the health unit! So, in the midst of tremendous labor, I had to sign papers! I had to get my sister, Cherie, to write out a birth plan and I had to sign that as well. I wanted as little intervention as possible. No pitocin, no epidural, no c-section (unless there was no other choice and life was in the balance), no shots for either of us, no silver nitrate in the eyes, etc... well, most of my wishes were complied with... but, they did put erithromycin in her eyes and drew blood for PKU (but, didn't squeeze it from her heel... they drew it from her vein in her hand at my request with a baby needle.).

I went in around 8pm. I was fully dialated and almost fully effaced (that check hurt soooo badly!). I gave birth drug-free at 9:49pm. I also tore... the worst kind, 4th degree tears! I had asked them not to cut the cord until it stopped pulsating, but they said they couldn't do that....

Her head came out (The Dr. said her head was stuck behind my perineam) with a scream from me! Jeremy was right there and said her eyes were wide open. Then, the next push and scream, her body! She cried immediately without provocation! The Dr. yelled out "it's a girl!" and put her on me! I was so excited to be finished having her and to have her on the outside of me! But, I didn't cry. The nurse told me that I had to stimulate her, she was getting cold. She stayed on me a little while, then the nurse took her, along with Jeremy to the nursery to bathe her (Cherie begged to bathe her! And, she gave Calista her first bath!).

She had a 12 inch head, was 20¼ inches long, and weighed 6 lbs and 10½ oz. She had black hair and blue eyes.

It took a whole hour to stitch me up!!! They said it was like recontruction surgery! So, I missed that whole first hour with my baby! They say that that's when the nursing reflex is strongest, within the first hour after birth. So, I didn't get to nurse her until after I came back from being sewn up!

Being stitched hurt so much more than delivery! After laying there for 15 minutes in severe pain, I asked if they had even started with the stitches... the Dr. said "no"! Before that I had refused medication. After that, I said, "please give me some!" It didn't take long for it to take affect! That was the coolest trip I have ever taken!!! lol

Well, we had to stay in the hospital for a full 48 hours. I really didn't mind, because I could barely walk! Calista slept with me every night, in my bed! Jeremy also slept in my bed the first night! Three of us in a single-sized hospital bed! The other nights, he slept in the chairs.

What no one told me is that how chapped your lips get from delivery and how hard it is to hold your urine afterwards! I had even done kiegal (sp?) exercizes!

I couldn't walk for about a week and I bled for about 2 weeks ( think) and that's when I noticed that I couldn't sneeze without peeing on myself!!! lol I've since gained control over that problem!

Well, that's my story! It didn't go quite the way I wanted it to, but, it went okay. All in all, the hospital staff was very nice to me.

For my next pregnancy, I will go through hypnotherapy so that I can deliver at home unassisted! I want that experience so bad!!! Now, I don't know how long it will be until my next baby....maybe not for a while... but, whenever... I want it at home!!!